For The First Time
Good morning everyone!
I was feeling a little unsure about the best way to kick off this new platform of mine and I remembered my very first blog post from back in 2013. It was short and sweet; you can read it here if you want to!
I started the post by asking a question that was both exciting and scary at the same time: "When was the last time you did something for the first time?"
At the time I was in a tough place. I felt very stuck with school. I was anxious and going through waves of stress, anxiety and depression.
It was really hard to pull myself out of the familiar unproductive rut that I found myself in. But writing for pleasure was my saviour and I pulled my sleeves up and started writing positively on my new blog "Books & Things". It got my mind thinking positively and focused on some good instead of all the bad.
Don't get me wrong it took a lot of other work to get me to a better place but starting that one new thing was so important. It allowed me to step back and see things clearly-- to see the big picture without panicking. It allowed me to ask for help and to get myself back on track. It allowed me to realize that change is good and that I actually needed more change.
So, what did I change then? Everything. I applied for the exchange program through school and got accepted to The University of Essex for a semester. So a year later (fall 2014) I got on a plane with my mum and we flew over the pond. We travelled together from Rome to London. Stopping along the way in Florence and Paris of course! This was a once in a lifetime experience that I am thankful for every day. We saw so much together! Ate the best foods and drank the best wines. It was incredible. So when we parted ways in London (me to Colchester, her back to Canada), it was bittersweet and terrifying.
I couldn’t take care of myself in Guelph, how was I going to in England? This was a BIG new first friends. I'd never travelled like this or moved to a different country. But I did move when I was a kid and I did move after high school and so far I had a 100% rate of success with these changes. And you know what, I still do.
My exchange changed my life.
I was so lucky to have one of my best friends assigned to the same school as me and we were one flat apart. This absolutely made things easier. And I'm not going to lie, things were tough sometimes, but I found the strength to push through. I got to meet so many interesting people. I now have friends all over the world and while we don't talk all that much anymore, I know they are always there. It's this really cool global support system that I feel extremely blessed to have.
Since then I've done some pretty cool firsts. I travelled some more; I should say backpacked through Scotland, Ireland, Italy and Greece. Stayed in hostels, took planes, trains, ferries, and walked a lot. I started my own company (Inkstone Review/The Inkstone Project), left my "comfortable" serving job, bought a house and got married, finished the first draft of my book, and found some pretty fun other side projects that I'm working on too.
So when I think back and see all these new firsts my heart smiles knowing how scary and exciting it can be. How important it is to learn new things and cultivate this person that you are destined to become out of your experiences. No one can do that for you.
Truthfully, I still struggle with making mistakes. I don't like to. I don't want to let anyone down, show weakness, or lack of understanding. And yes, I know that making mistakes is how we learn and grow, but they suck friends. So I'm working on it. By taking a moment here today to remember some of my firsts I can look back and say, yeah those new things were scary, but you have that 100% survival rate and guess what? I'm sure you made mistakes, but you barely even remember what they were. You learned from them and grew and moved on. You can do it again.
And so I still struggle with the mistakes because they feel bigger than they are, but with this track record I’m sure that I'll be able to come out the other side. And friends, so can you. So I'll ask again as I start this new journey, when is the last time you did something for the first time?
As always be gentle with yourself,
Katrina
Xo
